Review Roundup 2011 – Pt 1

So 2011 is just about over and that means it’s time to slam out a ton of reviews really fast for movies that came out in 2011. Since I’m not done watching them, this is part one. After all of that there will probably be some sort of retrospective with a list or something, because that’s the tradition. So far it’s shaping up to be an average year in movies, like most years, so no complaints here.

- The Descendants – (2011)

Dir- Alexander Payne; Star- George Clooney
Inattentive father Clooney has to deal with his daughters when his wife gets in a boating accident that puts her in a terminal coma. He also has to deal with a large amount of land he’s inherited in pristine Hawaii, which his family wants him to sell for big money. A highly emotional movie that’s also surprisingly funny, which perfectly suits setting a tragedy on the island paradise of Hawaii, which is gorgeously shot here. It’s all very ironic, but the characters, who are all well cast, feel genuine and unabashedly human. It’s their relationships that bizarrely find a common bond for the first time through death that binds the film, which features powerful themes about obligations to the past, present, and future, for the individual and for the family. A unique movie that is powerfully emotional, but with a tropical pace, that is better because of it. 

- My Week With Marilyn – (2011)

Dir- Simon Curtis; Star- Michelle Williams, Eddie Redmayne, Kenneth Branagh, Emma Watson
True story of the making of The Prince and the Showgirl, where classical director Laurence Olivier’s vision clashes with the always tardy Monroe. His assistant (Redmayne) becomes her friend and quickly falls in love with her, seeing her for who she was rather than the image she created for herself, giving a peek into Marilyn the person rather than Marilyn the Most Famous Woman in the World. It’s a character portrait which would only work with the right leading lady, and Michelle Williams captures a fragile Marilyn perfectly, letting us see her for what she really was, a person who loved the spotlight but never really knew how to find her own happiness, as she was always putting on an image. Even so, there’s more to Williams’ portrayal than this, and despite the film’s simplistic nature, it was very entertaining getting this glimpse into an interesting character. I’ve always hated Eddie Redmayne for his frighteningly scary lips, but he’s perfectly cast here, where his naive enthusiasm is greatly important.

- Hugo – (2011)

Dir- Martin Scorsese; Star- Asa Butterfield, Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen
A boy who tends to the clocks in the train station of 1920′s Paris gets entangled with a local mechanical toy shop owner while avoiding the grumpy station agent (played joyously by Baron Cohen). Mechanical toys form a major component to the story and also help to create the vibrant settings that make this vivid world come to life. Plotwise, the first hour or so is rather ordinary, but the screenplay takes an unexpectedly delightful turn towards the history of cinema when we realize who the toy shop owner really is. From then on out it’s simply disarming; Scorsese has created a truly heartwarming movie with topnotch staging and art direction that is beautiful in both form and function. A real triumph.

- Drive – (2011)

Dir- Nicholas Winding Refn; Star- Ryan Gosling, Bryan Cranston, Albert Brooks
Stunt driver / getaway driver Gosling decides to help out his neighbor who is in debt to the mob but gets in a little too deep. It’s slick and badass, sure, but it tries to be a character study and gives almost no insight into its main character; we don’t learn anything about him or why he does what he does. It tries to make everything seem significant and awe inspiring but it doesn’t have enough substance to earn it. Overly violent and pretentious, like it thinks it’s saying more than it is. Good soundtrack though. For a similar, but vastly superior movie, see 2010′s The American.

- Melancholia – (2011)

Dir- Lars Von Trier; Star- Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland
A big planet named Melancholia is going to collide with earth and kill everyone. Von Trier shows us how one bourgeois family may react to the news. It inspires many big questions and supports them with great dramatic gravity and tension; as the dreadful reality comes closer, should they even bother trying to be happy? A fascinating spin on the end-of-the-world genre, focusing on a family that is detached from the rest of the world yet wealthy enough to sit and watch. It’s a real downer, but it’s also quite interesting and makes you think twice about the character’s motives and decisions (which don’t always make sense) when it’s finished. Von Trier’s grandiosity thankfully doesn’t smother the film, although his love for high speed camera is becoming more and more apparent. 

- Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 – (2011)

Dir- Bill Condon; Star- Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
The beginning of the end for the Twilight saga, this one details Bella Swan’s hygiene and poor bone structure, hinging on a key scene where Kristen Stewart brushes her teeth and then throws up in a toilet. There’s also something about vampires and werewolves, but that’s not the part I remember. Nevertheless, I was mildly entertained while watching this, and I’m looking forward to part 2, where Bella Swan gets a root canal and then gets scolded for not flossing. 

- The Help – (2011)

Dir- Tate Taylor; Star- Emma Stone, Viola Davis
Independent white woman Stone decides to write a book chronicling the stories of the maids in Jackson, Mississippi in the 1960′s who spent a lot of time raising white children instead of their own, while being discriminated against by their employers. A likable movie that focuses primarily on social issues, but suffers from over-length and a slick, overly commercial production that makes everything feel staged and artificial. I feel like this has been made before, and its issues feel exhausted and played out, resulting in a movie that is entirely watchable (especially if you’re looking for some easy to digest, served-on-a-platter emotional response), but not very compelling.

- Oranges and Sunshine – (2011)

Dir- Jim Loach; Star- Emily Watson, Hugo Weaving
A British social worker discovers a decades old plot by the government to ship orphans to Australia, where she finds many people who are willing to tell their stories. A remarkably boring film that feels in almost every way like a BBC made-for-TV movie.

- 50/50 – (2011)

Dir- Jonathon Levine; Star- Joseph Gordon Levitt, Seth Rogen, Anna Kendrick
Gordon Levitt has cancer and a 50/50 chance of beating it. His best friend Rogen helps him through it and his crappy ex girlfriend, and both learn a lot about living and friendship. While Judd Apatow’s Funny People was essentially the same movie, it never found the perfect balance between comedy and emotion that’s achieved here. Gordon Levitt channels screenwriter Will Reiser’s optimistic attitude very well, preventing it from ever becoming too somber or morose. Seth Rogen is refreshing in a supporting role for once, his annoying characteristics are much harder to notice when he’s on the sideline, which also makes him much funnier.

- The Inbetweeners Movie – (2011)

Dir- Ben Palmer; Star- British People
High-schoolish British response to Superbad has four geeky teens go on vacation in the Mediterranean where they try to pick up women but pretty much don’t. Light hearted and foul mouthed, but lamely crude (these lads are so horny they would hump Oprah Winfrey’s cankles and then high five each other) and not very funny.

- Super 8 – (2011)

Dir- JJ Abrams; Star- Joel Courtney, Riley Griffiths, Elle Fanning
J.J. Abrams pays homage to pretty much every Steven Spielberg movie, borrowing mostly from ET, Close Encounters, and Jurassic Park to create this brightly constructed story of some kids shooting a movie who accidentally discover some government monster conspiracy. Abrams is as kinetic and light bloom-y as ever; its the surprisingly human story arc about one of the kids who lost his mother that makes this sci-fi adventure stand out. 

- Limitless – (2011) 

Dir- Neil Burger; Star-Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro
Failing writer Cooper takes miracle drug to make him much sharper, but soon finds himself using his new skills to outsmart the people who don’t want anyone to know about the drug. What could have been a lame B-movie is made fresh and exciting by director Burger, who makes all the right choices and executes them well, resulting in an exciting and intriguing thriller, marred only by an ending that doesn’t really cohere with the rest of the movie (although I hear there’s an alternate ending).

Review Catch Up

- THE SKIN I LIVE IN – (2011)

Dir- Pedro Almodovar; Star- Antonio Banderas, Elena Anaya
Plastic surgeon Banderas is an emotional wreck following the death of his wife and daughter, he channels his pain through a mysterious skin transplant patient locked in his basement, with whom he is quite obsessed. Writer-director Almodovar abandons the eclectic and vibrant flair of his previous work in this dark, creepy thriller, which despite its cool tones still overflows with vivacity and bold compositions meticulously constructed by a masterfully creative eye. Almodovar, himself a gay man, has always populated his films with  homosexual and transgender characters (See: All About My Mother), tackling a wide range of themes evoking questions about gender rolls and the relations between males and females, or blends of the two. In The Skin I Live In he approaches transgenderism head on, constructing a character in the surgeon whose antagonistic behavior provides a grotesquely compelling framework upon which to consider the director’s ruminations on whether it’s the body or the mind that defines the person. Skin itself, the surgeon’s fixation and the object that lends the movie its title, acts as a trap for the soul or mind of the individual person, despite being what defines the person to everyone else on the outside. In doing all of this, through stunning progressions that we’ve come to expect from Almodovar, he manages to provide insight about  being trapped by your body to heterosexual people. Of course this is all subtext, the film itself works as an exciting and bizarre thriller, but its these themes that Almodovar tackles directly and with a firm hand, rather than with flamboyance as a side theme interwoven with everything else, that makes The Skin I Live In a distinct highlight in Almodovar’s immensely accomplished oeuvre. It serves to show just how in command of the medium he is, where the story and the presentation meld seamlessly to further a theme or a question that causes the viewer to see the world from another point of view; this is what film is all about.

- CONTAGION – (2011)

Dir- Steven Soderbergh; Star- Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet, Laurence Fishburne, Jude Law, Marion Cotillard
Star studded pandemic scenario, following many characters across the world as a deadly virus spreads like wildfire, triggering panic and a global response from the CDC and WHO to try and halt its progression. It’s been done before, but not with this level of technical precision and scientific satisfaction, where the work of the epidemiologist is just as prevalent as the individual character’s struggle for survival. It also manages to cover many related economic, social, and political aspects associated with such an end of the world scenario, providing a well rounded consideration of the possibilities. It sacrifices some of its character’s human stories to tackle many of these other issues, but it doesn’t really matter because of just how exciting –and frightening it is. This is actually one of the scarier movies I’ve seen in a while, mainly due to just how plausible and real it feels; the world and all of the systems we live in are more fragile than we may think. It makes you think, it makes you fear, it takes you for a tense ride through a hypothetical apocalypse; Contagion is first rate disaster porn.  

- PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3 - (2011)

Dir-Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman ; Star-Christopher Nicholas Smith, Lauren Bittner
Paranormal Activity was one of the most profitable movies of all time, and boy do its producers know this. That’s why they keep making the same movie with ever greater integer suffixes, because they know people will still be frightened by the “found footage” home video set up, which has been used to make frightening situations seem more real. Of course, even if the whole concept didn’t seem old and tired, the film’s use of CGI and hoaky effects really diminishes its believability, defeating the whole point of making it appear to be just a bunch of home videos in the first place. This time around we get to learn about some sort of witchcraft plot, which I have to say isn’t very scary. The movie’s frights instead come from an endless series of anticipated shocks. You know, the ones you know are coming because of the long stretch of silence right before. I suppose these are scary, but what’s the point? This all boils down to scene after scene of a few minutes of dull normalcy followed by something unusual, creepy, or loud and then starting it all over again. Who needs a story or compelling characters any more? This is manufactured, assembly line horror, like Stephen King’s writing, where the audience goes in, gets shown a series of things that they’re supposed to scream at, and then comes out begging for a sequel, except without the rabid Cujo dog thing. Seeing this in a theater packed with high school students was worthwhile, however; their reactions and commentary, as well as their delight at having fooled the rent-a-cop checking for under age movie hoppers outside the door, was far more entertaining than what was on screen.

- CRAZY, STUPID LOVE - (2011)

Dir- Glenn Ficarra, John Requa; Star- Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone
Divorced, middle aged Carell meets suave Gosling at a bar where he tries to learn how to start up his dating life again. Somewhere in there some stuff happens, which I don’t really remember, leading to a particularly amusing climax where all the loose pieces come crashing together like in the superior City Island. In the end I felt that this was a pleasing comedy with adult overtones, that is neither terribly funny or satisfyingly emotional, but it was entertaining nonetheless.

- BAD TEACHER - (2011)

Dir- Jake Kasdan; Star- Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake
Cameron Diaz is a junior high school teacher who doesn’t really want to be, but she sticks around because she needs money to pay for breast implants. It’s as stupid as it sounds, which would be perfectly fine if it was funny, but it isn’t.

 - MIDNIGHT IN PARIS - (2011)

Dir- Woody Allen; Star- Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams
Romantic writer Wilson is in Paris looking for inspiration when he stumbles upon a car that takes him every night to the 1920′s where he can hang out with the modernist writers of the Lost Generation like Hemingway and Fitzgerald, who give him inspiration and advice on his life and writing, while during the day he returns to McAdams, his increasingly angry fiance. He quickly becomes consumed by his fantasy which merges with reality. Wilson is great, both neurotic and sympathetic like the bumbling Woody Allen of yore, pulling us into his dream world which is disarming and whimsical. This is one of Allen’s most warm spirited forays; an enjoyable and literate fantasy.

- COWBOYS AND ALIENS - (2011)

Dir- Jon Favreau; Star- Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford
Aliens invade the wild west, humans must make them go away, Daniel Craig is a cowboy with some alien technology that may give them a good chance. This was an intriguing concept that screamed awesome at first, but after ten minutes I think everyone in the theater was wondering why they were there. This would fail as either a cowboy movie or a sci-fi movie, and as both it’s pretty terrible, with no characters that really make you care. It’s a lot of flash and explosion, which one would certainly expect from a movie titled Cowboys and Aliens. This movie is kind of like the Kool Aid Man, big and boisterous; it makes you say “AW yeah!” when you consider how awesome it could be, but then he trips and shatters against the hard desert floor, spilling his good movie juice everywhere as soon as you realize how stupid this is, which is rather quickly. 

- SOURCE CODE - (2011)

Dir- Duncan Jones; Star- Jake Gyllenhaal, Vera Farmiga
Gyllenhaal is a soldier who wakes up on a train and realizes he’s going to get a bunch of chances to stop a terrorist bomb threat, because he’s really somewhere else in some sort of high tech machine that lets him try again after he fails and the train blows up. It seems like a cool idea at first but it’s really contrived and makes very little sense; especially the final twist which falls far short from the “oh my god” reaction it was shooting for, which was quite disappointing. It’s annoying when a movie thinks it’s more clever than it really is, (See: Inception, The Prestige, The Dark Knight), and Source Code is no exception.

- WIN WIN - (2011)

Dir- Thomas McCarthy; Star- Paul Giamatti, Amy Ryan, Alex Shaffer
Struggling lawyer Giamatti becomes legal guardian for an old man to receive the government checks, and decides to look after his troubled grandson when he shows up. The grandson is also a good wrestler, and Giamatti coaches the school wrestling team. A very human story conveyed well by the actors, especially Giamatti, but not so much Shaffer (the grandson) who clearly lacks acting experience. I wanted to slap him after a while because of his annoying monotone grunts. Regardless, this is both funny and very dramatic without ever feeling overly heavy. A rewarding movie.

- CEDAR RAPIDS - (2011)

Dir- Miguel Arteta; Star- Ed Helms, John C Reilly, Anne Heche

Naive insurance salesman Helms goes to a convention in Cedar Rapids where he’s introduced to the idea of advancing in your career by being corrupt and sinful. Helms’ enthusiasm is very amusing, as are his exploits in the adult world of selling insurance, but in the end it doesn’t add up to much. Charming but predictable, a good diversion. John C. Reilly has always and still does annoy me.

Bridesmaids, No Strings Attached, Morning Glory, Perfume: The Story of A Murderer

- BRIDESMAIDS – (2011)

Dir-Paul Feig;Star-Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Melissa McCarthy, Ellie Kemper
Quirky, perpetually unloved Wiig is maid of honor for her best friend’s wedding, but she finds that she’s slowly being replaced as “BFF.” Finally a great vehicle for the very talented writer-actress Wiig (of Saturday Night Live fame), whose awkward sense of humor feels decidedly fresh (despite her overuse on SNL). A very funny movie drawing its comedy from female raunch, which is very welcome in a typically male-oriented Judd Apatow production, and the uncomfortable social situations presented in its story, with a great cast, especially McCarthy (of Gilmore Girls fame) as the lewd, obese bridesmaid who steals puppies and defecates in sink. Its third quarter is overlong and emotionally intense (for a comedy), but eventually satisfying. A welcome movie that while very funny, never finds the perfect balance between comedy and personal, emotional drama, that’s made by very funny people at their best.

 

 

- NO STRINGS ATTACHED – (2011)

Dir-Ivan Reitman;Star-Ashton Kutcher, Natalie Portman
Entirely unoriginal movie about two friends who become friends with benefits despite falling for each other. Focuses more on the relationship than being funny, which is too bad since it goes exactly where you’d expect it to go. Kucther and Portman are likable (to the extent that that’s possible, I’m looking at You, miss Portman), but don’t do much to elevate the dull screenplay they’re given. I suppose it’s a classical romantic comedy that’s too by the numbers to be endearing.

- MORNING GLORY – (2010)

Dir-Roger Michell;Star-Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford, Patrick Wilson
Up and coming news-show producer McAdams decides to try and revive a failing morning show rather than accepting a more secure job, employing the cantankerous and stubborn broadcasting veteran Ford who isn’t exactly willing to try anything new. The focus is on the clash of personalities, which isn’t exactly a refreshing idea. A slight and unremarkable comedy featuring many likable personalities (especially the leads) that’s over before you know it, and then you ask yourself, “did anything really happen?”  The answer is not really, no.

 

- PERFUME: The Story of a Murderer – (2006)

Dir-Tom Tykwer;Star-Ben Whishaw, Dustin Hoffman, Alan Rickman
Troubled French orphan Jean Baptiste-Grenouille is born with a supernaturally powerful sense of smell which he trains and hones, eventually turning to crime to craft the perfect scent. Vivid production design and cinematography allow the film to capture the sense of smell like no other, with remarkably mesmerizing and beautiful imagery. The story itself is quite intriguing; it’s hard to really root for the protagonist, but it’s also difficult to look away. My main gripe is with the contrived and all-too-convenient ending that feels too artificially profound. Still, Perfume is a noteworthy film due to its detailed translation of a non-visual sensual passion into a compelling visual device.

 

Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter

It’s been 10 years and 8 films and the Harry Potter cinematic franchise can finally be laid to rest. So, now seems as good a time as any to review every one of the movies! In retrospect, as most people would agree, the books were far more fun than the movies, and while none of the movies were “great,” many were good and entertaining. It was nice having faces to put to the characters in the book as well, since the movies came out before the series was ever finished in print. Gooood stuff.

One thing I’ve noticed is that the series tends to frustrate people, especially in the later films. This seems to be due to the fact that the screenplays are (necessarily) dumbed down to fit into a watchable movie, angering the diehard book fans, yet it tends to retain enough detail and mythology to confuse the more casual viewer. Alas this seems like an unavoidable pitfall to adapting an epic, much beloved and read book series into film. Oh well.

-  HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE – (2001)

The first film in the series is the most family friendly, appropriately, with our 11 year old heroes not yet jaded by the dark reality of the wizarding world. It’s because of this that Chris Columbus’ introduction to this magical universe remains the most, well… magical. The awe on Harry’s face is as fresh as can be here, and the adventure that ensues is too early in the series to feel formulaic (although it is).

- HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS – (2002)

This entry is almost identical to the first one (but with more giant snake), and just that much more tiredly familiar.

- HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN -(2004)

Director Alfonso Cuarón took the series to new places cinematically with the Prisoner of Azkaban, finally eschewing the warm-and-fuzzy Chris Columbus vibe for something dark and ominous which fit our hero’s entering teenage years, and really served as a model for the remainder of the films. Having said that, the third installment of Rowling’s book is also probably the least interesting plot-wise. It’s more of an introduction to adolescence than a rollicking adventure, but still noteworthy for Cuarón’s quirky manipulation of curiosity.

- HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE – (2005)

In retrospect, the fourth Potter book is probably the most adaptable into an entertaining film, with its new (yet still comfortingly familiar) environs revolving around the exciting Tri-wizard tournament. This, combined with director Mike Newell’s crisp and sure-handed plotting make Goblet of Fire the funnest entry in the series. A great success.

- HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX – (2007)

A dark entry, but not nearly as infuriating as the book, which was why the fifth book was my favorite, so one can understand how this is a disappointment for me. It manages to be murky and moody as it should during this tumultuous time in our character’s teenaged lives, but the  soul-igniting fire isn’t really there. Sure, the effects and production values are all present in full force, but it feels a bit too episodic and undistinguished, which is particularly harmful for a movie stuck in the middle of an eight part series.

- HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE – (2009)

Brilliantly paced alternating between ominous darkness and relationship building comedy, a balance that is sustained through to the end, making this entry compelling and very enjoyable. Yates’ direction here is crisper and more graceful than any of the other films, stylish and dark yet not overbearingly or indulgently so. Now that the characters and actors have matured it feels much easier to accept their various follies and emotions. New guest star Jim Broadbent is irresistable as Horatio Slughorn, and Tom felton is more odious (but in an elegant way) than ever as Draco Malfoy. The tone of the very ending however, felt unnecessarily light and sappy which really seemed inappropriate for its context, although the climax crackles like thunder. My favorite of the series.

- HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PT 1 -(2010)

The first part of the seventh chapter is more of a frustrating bookmark that leads into the finale, setting up all of the gloom and doom that has to be faced before our heroes can vanquish the evil forces of Lord Voldemort. Director David Yates establishes a sense of dread by immersing much of the film in silence without noticeable musical scoring, which when coupled with the dark photography and evasive storyline make this perhaps the easiest film in the series to fall asleep in. This is also where it’s easiest to get lost in the details of the story lines, pronouns, and Latin phrases that populate Rowling’s mythology, which will also disappoint diehard book-fans with its omissions.

 

- HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PT 2 – (2011)

The series ends with a bang mostly revolving around the battle for Hogwarts and the conclusion of the myriad loose ends of Rowling’s epic series. If you were confused by many of the details in the first part, you’ll be even more confused here; much of the moments that are supposed to feel inspiring or rousing end up being equally confusing since it’s hard to be sure why they are important in the first place. The film also features a few moments of unintentional comedy at its most dramatic points, but it doesn’t hurt to laugh with all the villainy going on. Some of the points that were confusing in the book remain enigmatic here, but that’s hardly the movie’s fault. Nevertheless, the film delivers what everyone’s been waiting for: an epic battle between good and evil to put the conflict to rest for good, and this is where the film is most successful.

—
In retrospect, if you want to get the most out of the movies it’s probably best to avoid the books and take the films at face value; you’ll have fewer gripes with the story and its increasing convolutions. But, if you wish to get the most out of Rowling’s magical universe you should just read the books. Actually, I think the series would be fantastic in say, 20 years remade as a TV miniseries, that way it can be made as long as possible to include as much of the story fans have come to love. Wouldn’t that be fun?

No matter how good or bad the movies may be though, there is no substitute for the child-like joy of reading the Potter series for the first time. Sighh…

Things to Think About While Watching the Stars

I was recently outside at night in Sacramento and I had nothing else to do, so I decided to do a little star watching. These are just some things that I thought about while gazing above:

* The stillness of everything. We live in a dynamic world where everything is changing and moving, but the stars creep ever so slowly as the night goes on. Even our beloved movies have sped up, thanks to music video and 24-style hyper fast editing. You know, where you only hold a shot for a fraction of a second before cutting to something else for the sake of keeping you on your feet.  It’s almost meditative to look at them and slow your pace down to the turn of the earth. If you have a telescope with a good enough eyepiece you can look at a star in the sky and literally (well, implicitly) see the Earth turn as the star wanders out of view.

* Since stars are so far away odds are if you’re looking at one, people in most other parts of the world where it’s dark can see the very same star you’re looking at at the very same time. Well, okay, not if you look at ones near the horizon (unless you’re at a pole), but you get the idea. We used to have to send letters to share something with someone else, then we had telephones and could share our voices instantly, and now we have text and internet, but it seems so very dehumanizing to turn things into a digital signal. You can experience the very light that someone else is experiencing in Jamaica at the very same time (well, almost, speed of light issues and all…). It’s like watching the same television screen in the same room, except the room is the universe and the t.v. is projected onto the night sky (Oh what a modern world we live in where I fall back on making analogies to television to better express thoughts on nature).

* Similarly, humans have seen these very stars in (almost) these same positions for thousands and thousands of years. Ramses of Egypt, Aristotle, Shakespeare, Lincoln, Einstein, all looked up at the sky and saw these same light sources providing Earth with a free preview of the universe. The same balls of plasma millions of miles away were seen by our ancestors. Isn’t that somewhat comforting? In the same way that inevitably dying isn’t necessarily bad, because after all Shakespeare did it, he’s in the club. Who would be irked to be in a club with Shakespeare?

* Light pollution is obnoxious and most people don’t realize how bad the problem is. This is probably because they never look up at the sky. Just a few minutes drive out of town reveals a whole different ballpark.  It’s like upgrading from a 10″ tv/VCR combo to a majestic HDTV with wifi netflix access (Damn, another TV similie). Shakespeare didn’t have to worry about light pollution…

* The light you see is thousands and millions of years old. The photons that hit your eye were emitted by nuclear fusion and other processes in other stars far away so very very long ago. You’re looking into the past yet it feels immediately present, because anything occurring in your frame of reference is the present for you (well, not quite, since signals take time to travel in your brain). Space is so much more complicated than it seems. Rather than having three directions up, straight, and to the side, there’s also the invisible dimension of time which makes it so much more abstract than was thought for thousands of years. The fact that this is reality is somewhat mind boggling.

* Flip flop sandals are made of suspiciously cheap rubber that easily chafe your feet. This problem needs to be rectified. We have man made hunks of metal and wire flying around Saturn that you can’t see when you look at it with a telescope (which is quite beautiful), things that teams of hundreds with PhDs spent years building, and the world has yet to see an affordable, comfortable flip flop sandal.

* The statistical unlikeliness of our being able to look up at the stars and think these thoughts is so extraordinarily high that it’s actually outside of the realm of statistics since we wouldn’t be able to ask the question if we weren’t here in the first place. In other words, well, from our perspective the probability of the universe’s laws working to build us up from the primordial ether is exactly 1, since we are here.

* The amount of effort that goes into manufacturing a rubber flip flop sandal is enormous yet veiled by the convenience of the modern world. Think about the years of research and design for the most comfortable foot wear: someone had to design the machines to build them, someone had to design the parts to make the machines, someone had to mine the metal and process the metal to make the machines, someone had to ship the metal to make the machines, someone had to design the trucks to ship the metal, someone had to design the machines to build the trucks to ship the metal, someone had to investigate labor practices to produce cheap sandals, someone had to operate the machines, someone had to evolve from a common ancestor with the chimpanzees to first lead us humans on this quest, this never ending evolutionary cycle that inevitably led to the creation of these god awful, uncomfortable, chafing rubber flip flop sandals.